Schmoozer

I dunno what goes on man, you tell kate b you’ll come out ot her friend’s house for a few drinks, and then past 3am you’re crawling into your house from a taxi and the driver was smoking and had no registration on his window but you’re too tired and have been dancing on a stage and so none of it really seems to matter.

Jones’s freaked me out at first, all black and white squares like Laser Strike or that Tom Petty video where the girl turns into a cake and she’s cut up and eaten. Random Hardbodies are scary, as are slappers in tight white pants. Mmm I taste all sweaty, how lovely. Oh, that’s sucking my thumb, which people tell me off for, but there’s no one here now to tell me off, and sitting up at the computer makes me head buzz less than lying down trying to sleep DAMMIT ears, shut up, such a low pain threshold.

But before town, we were somewhere in Ponsonby, and even before that we were driving to st heliers in Kate’s car, burning off and being burnt off by some car for ages and my hands are out of the skylight because I’ve been drinking, and I’m drinking red bull. It gives you wiiiings don’t you know? And so we pick up Le-at and Ange, and I get a text message saying “I love it when you lick me” and I have no fucking idea who it’s from, so I call them, but they answer and then hang up so I don’t get the answerphone, and I figure it’s Maree from James’s phone but I’m not entirely sure. 021 1372398 if that rings any bells. But I texted back the wrong number going “who the fuck are you?” so whoops me.

At John Abbot’s house, we’re playing drinking games and the girls are all drinking scary bubbly and because there’s no corkscrew I can’t open my wine so I’m drinking scary bubbly too. We play some game first where you can’t say 21, and you make up a new rule every time you fuck up so every time you say a multiple of three you have to say “God bless Abott” and four becomes arse, but that’s all too complicated so we play “I have never”. One of the first things that come up, Kate’s staring at me going “oh my god” and I’m blushing, but later I get everyone’s applause and I was like “why the fuck?” but oh well. Then they keep playing Zed “renegade fighter” and it’s so hideous, like if they were playing Creed and being serious. They’re waiting for their friend Ryan, and hwen he shows up I realise that I know him, and it’s Vision Ryan and we’re quietly geeky. Then Mike and I have a face off over why Limp Bizkit suck, and the chairs we’re sitting in are all white vinyl egg shapey, so I feel like I’m on mastermind or some shit like that.

Taxi van and Kate B’s all “Yay for you coming out with us!” and then it’s a five dollar charge to get into jones’s but there’s shakers, and kate’s skived off with my eftpos card and then dancing dancing dancing and you can’t go wrong with that, can you? I had some strange conversation with Mike who was convinced I was Swedish, and I don’t think that I told him I was, but possibly Kate did. Still, it was very strange, and we’d all given each other Scottish names for the drinking games, but I was just McLeod, because as everyone knows, there can be only one. Eventually I get tired and I go and talk to Le-at, and she’s like “What’s your favourite part of your body?” and straight away I can tell her eyes, hair, breasts. I don’t know what Le-at said, but Ryan said arms. So there you go, absolutely no statistical data can be gathered from that. Kate gave me a g&t, which I drank although I like neither g nor t. Vodka lime soda tasted different, not enough lime perhaps. I danced on the stage for ages, because I’m not an attention seeker. Well, I am, but not as much as the people I was out with, so I was happy to dance by myself. I havent’ been to like a dance party since oh shit, it musta been Coldcut, and that was literally lifetimes ago. Woah. It’s like my tech friends are all very into Pop, which I also like, but dammit, trance is fun too, so maybe I should convert them. Or maybe I should just go out with Kate more. I have a feeling my life is going to start to get a lot more expensive.

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