Tuesday October 17th, 2000

You know, sometimes I suspect that the Internet, and more specifically, having a whole web of information at your fingertips, is a really bad thing. I mean, sure it’s great when you need to write a gossip column and Creedwatch before tomorrow, such as I do now, but there’s other times when it’s not. Such as, when you’re vaguely worried about something, and someone suggests something so you go and look that up, and then seem to have all the symptons. And of course, then there’s a quiz just like out of Cosmo, count up the points and see if you fit in, and so maybe I should just go and see a doctor and have my mind put at ease. It’s too easy to be a hypocondriac with too much information. But I might still wait so that it doesn’t seem like I’m over-reacting too much, and besides, I’m broke, and yadda yadda. Besides, if I found out that I am in perfect health, what would I have to worry about then, besides oh you know, finding a job, getting a life and all of that?

I had no classes today, but I went into tech anyways to pimp. $30 a pop is pretty cheap, you know. Everyone’s talking about the dinner, which is very exciting. I plan on crimping my hair for it, which will take hours and hours, but should be worth a crack, Nigel. A lot of people are talking about coming in costume, which is fantastic. And we’re generating buzz about the awards. The Radio Majors have all voted for the same person in one catergory, and Nige was trying to bribe us but he didn’t show us the money. Maree and I have been super efficient selling tickets, really we have. I got ticket 001, but to be honest, I haven’t paid for it, nor has she paid for ticket 007. But we will! Brad asked if we had eftpos, so I was like “sure, swipe your card through my butt crack” and he was like “no, I meant your cleavage” so I offered it to him, he pulled out his card but at the last momemnt backed away. When I accused him of being a wimp, he said “but your breasts are so magnetic, I’m afraid they’d wipe my card”, which was a good call. I hung out at Global Sandwich for a while, keeping Kate M company and eating a sandwich from the French place inside Imax, naughty me.

We were supposed to have our Survivor Dinner tonight, but at the last minute, Justin canceled. This is probably just as well since Clayton had invited Kara, which he should not have done, as she wasn’t a contender, so why should she reap the benefits? And Maree couldn’t make it either. Still, Kate B was well annoyed that she’d bought the dessert ingrediants for nought. Kara asked me tonight if it was okay if she stayed for a week, which I found very funny since Clayton had already asked us and we pretended to hmm and hah over it while not actually having a single problem with it. Once you pop, you just can’t stop.

I had scary dreams this morning, a guilty conscience kinda dream if you will. Almost every guy I have ever scored or nearly scored was at this party, and I had all these weird conversations with them. One guy wouldn’t leave (again) so i had to get my friends to kick him out. I got way too close to another guy, which scares me, because lately I’ve been taking my cues on how to live my life from my dreams – my current crush only became apparent to me after I dreamt we were spooning and it made me feel really safe. But in regards to my current crush, I’ve decided that the complications make it too unworth it, and I can’t be bothered. So I’ll go be predatory somewhere else. Or I won’t – I had this scary vision of me twenty years from now as Housekeeper for all my friends, Alice in the Brady Bunch, without so much as even the hope that the Butcher will ask me to marry him. I told Kate B that, and she said I was far too special for me not to be found by someone, which was lovely of her to say, but I think she was just happy that I love her new haircut so much.

all walls are great if the roof doesn’t fall

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