Saturday the 30th of December – 2000

I sat down to write a review of sorts of this year, then I just suddenly got hit by this big patch’o blue, which I am taking as a good sign, because while I feel like shit right now, this means that my period won’t be due for a couple’o days. I’d forgotton about how ridiculously low I always get for no reason beforehand. Once again, I feel like i am two seperate people – there’s Joanna who wants to curl up on the couch and cry, and there’s Joanna who knows that the other Joanna just needs to balance out her hormones a little, which is the same Joanna who’s been absolutely fantastic for the rest of the day.

Once upon a time there was a princess who lived in a big castle on top of the hill. The princess lived all alone, although the kitchen was fully stocked and she had a fleet of vehicles at her disposal. The princess spent her time dancing around the house in her underwear, and taking many showers, practicing breathing, napping on the couch and calling her friends because she could.

I was watching myself dance today, because I am a pervert, and I was just really really happy. It’s possible that I’ll be hanging out with people in Taupo that I met five years ago, and haven’t seen since then, and it just amuses me how much I’ve changed, thinking about the shy quiet girl I used to be. I mean, I am still shy now, but I try not to let people know that, and I do dance, I don’t sit in corners. I could almost drop into the Year in Review now, but I think I want to sit somewhere beautiful by myself and write it into my faithful red book rather than type it into Notepad straight off. Plus with half of me being all melencholic right now, it just wouldn’t sound the way it should be, now that I am mellower.

But in case I don’t write again this year, I should probably put in some thank yous. I oooooooooh i’m still alive yeaaaaah I ooooh I’m still alive. Etc. Tech friends – you’re wonderful. Sydney Crew – you’re the reason I’m still sane. Also a huge ta very much to all that listened to me whining and whinging and crying and laughing and smiling. Thanks to those that made me realise just how strong I actually am. Everyone else, well, thanks for reading. I perform best with an audience.

This is dumb, I’m so annoyed by my womanly functions. Grr. There’s this battle going on in my head, and quite frankly, I’m a little tired of it. Fuck you, Downside! I’m beating you! Muhahahaha. Okay, I’m going to go watch some telly. If i don’t come back – have a fantastic new years. I intend to.

xoxox

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