The First

Drinks at Karen’s with Brad and Shirley, and then we’re off to Atomic at Indigo via the 90s party at Blink’s but when we got there it was all about the sign on the door saying it was canceled, so we stopped to hide booze by the Bakehouse. Brad apparently went back to get another beer later, all class. Once the band had finished (Electrocrack is the new Emperor’s New Clothes), the music was great.

If New Zealand had Craigslist I would post something saying “Dear girl with the NIN tattoos and the dice necklace – you grabbed my pearls and told me you loved them and then when I suggested you punch your friend you told me you loved me and then when it seemed like you almost took my hand in the bathroom, and then did take it later but only to ask for cigarettes, well, I don’t know if you’re that way inclined, or if you are if you’d be that way inclined towards me or not, but I’d just really like to hold hands and kiss you”. Girlcrushes are confusing. Girlie-Giggling Crushes, on the other hand, are fun, even if your friends do tell you to stop giggling just cos you’ve seen the boy you have a crush on, and yell at you to talk to him even though you know he’s not interested, but hey, a hug’s good enough. And then when Heather calls you at 11am, you’re like “arrgh, I love you Heather but I’ve got to go back to sleep to dream about the boy and skipping through fields of daisies”.

Which is actually a lie, because while we’re jumbling this narrative around, I actually dreamt about Kristen, who was working behind the bar and who was (fair enoughly too) very tired. I dreamt I got up at school and yelled at everyone that she was singlehandedly the best person at the school and reeled off a list of her achievements and then cried. Much more wholesome than the other day when I dreamt I decided out of the blue to hire a male prostitute, who was gay but was doing straight for the money. I don’t know why I bothered though, because he blamed me for his inability to stick it in (probably not helped by the fact that I was inexplicitly still wearing my panties – hehe I said panties) but eventually he came across my face and mouth and left. And I paid $130 for that? Wow, even in my dreams I get ripped off.

And on that note before I return to my night story, I might throw down my New Year’s Resolutions:

  • Stop spending so much money on other people who don’t reciprocate
  • Stop losing friends
  • Stop being such a pooper and accept every invitation I’m given – within reason. Rain is not a reason.
    The first one? Well, chances are, if you’re in Wellington, I have bought you a drink. In fact, I’ve probably brought you a couple, and statistically speaking, you haven’t bought me shit. I am tired of being overly generous when I am around people who are stingy. I’m not making ridiculously more amounts of money than y’all – I only know one student and I know when he’s on Shorters I’ll be living large off him. Yeah.

    So yeah, the rest of the night? Dance dance dance dance. I tried to kiss all my friends on the lips at midnight because hey, it’s 2005 and 2005 is going to be the year of the kiss (and I can decide at the end that by “kiss” I mean “no kiss” if need be), but I don’t think I managed a single one. The one sucky thing about the Non-smoking legislation is that the balcony was absolutely packed whenever I went out to cool down a bit. I saw many people I knew – including one of Katy’s friends who told me he remembered me cos he was shocked to hear the joke I told him come out of my mouth (this is the guy who told me he was waiting for my top to have a wardrobe malfunction). The joke, for the record is Two guys were sitting at a bar and one said to the other “I could have sex with any woman here”. “Oh yeah,” says the other guy, “why’s that?” to which the first guy answers “because I’m a rapist”. Brad had a cute friend who I thought looked really familiar and then I was embarrassed because I realised I thought he looked like the asshole on ‘My Restaurant Rules’ which I have been watching this week. The cute guy had an annoying workmate who grabbed my pearls like half a dozen other people and was really sleazy and tried to make a joke about pearl necklaces. Jessie was there too for a while and I hope she had as much fun as I did. KateH showed up later, fresh from a wedding at Parliment, and there was a boy with her who looked like a sheep farmer. Given that she had mostly been partying with National Party members, it was quite likely that he was actually a sheep farmer – or at least his parents. Bad England. Nevermind. My old workmate Anthea was there too, and she was very very loud. I had no trouble hearing her. In fact, my ears are still ringing today, but I suspect that’s not her fault.

    They played ’99 Luftballoons’ and I realised it’s been ten years since I celebrated New Year’s in Roppongi, Beth and I leaving the house semi-legitmately saying we were going to Meiji Shrine with the other (literal) million people. They played large chunks of Indie. They played so much good music that I got so tired dancing I found i was dancing like a little bitch around her handbag, which annoyed me muchly. Speaking of little bitches, at one stage in the toilet queue there was this slapper in a tiny skirt and fuckme boots and so much makeup she was verging on Goth, and she was applying more and more and more, and she could hardly stand, and one girl was trying to tell her that she was beautiful the way she was (an admirable sentiment), seeing as how the girl was in a BAD MOOD and was looking to start a fight – when I suggested maybe she should sit down she was like “MAYBE YOU NEED TO SIT DOWN” and that’s when the tattooed girl touched my hand, ooh la la, anyways. Slapper and her boyfriend were all over each other later on the dance floor. At one stage there were grossly dirtydancing couples in my line of vision every way I turned, which made me want to claw out my own eyes. Puke puke.

    Around 4.30am I could hardly stand up anymore, so I taxied home. None of my flatmates were home, except for J’s friend who I’d had a terrible faux-pas with earlier (she went to my high school but I couldn’t place her at first until I was like “oooh you used to be much skinnier” – because she was anorexic. Nice one Jo. I tried to soften it with a “you seem much more relaxed now”. I don’t know how well that worked.) Anyways, I showered and propped my feet up on a pile of pillows and because i still had red bull running through my veins I watched some Buffy/Angel for ages. Then because my ears were ringing and my feet were ache ache acheing I dug out the last of my codeine and wanted to cry when there was only one pill left cos I thought there were two. Nevertheless, pretty much straight away everything went wispysoft and lovely. The top of my head went all tingly, and the pain shifted down a large amount. I didn’t manage to fall asleep though, just snuggle down into a blissful state which Sebby interupted, miaowing to get in and then not letting me cuddle him as much as I wanted to. Sigh. I think maybe I will develop a prescription drug addiction for 2005. Codeine is so nice. If you can get me some, I will dress up in a bear suit for you.

    So tell me about your night then.

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