Shirley the blended pirate

So you know how I said that I’d try to update every day this week? Well, okay, so I’ve royally sucked at that. But it’s not my fault! Anji blew up my computer on Tuesday night when she was over to watch The Amazing Race so I couldn’t. So that’s what I’ll be doing this weekend – trying to track down my warranty and a place to take my computer to, which hopefully won’t involve driving out to Johnsonville where I originally bought the computer.

  • Shirley
  • The Great Blend
  • Pirates!


    On Wednesday I got a text from Shirley going “come and meet me at this bar after work” and I was like but you’re in Auckland, so you are crazy, and then I remembered that oh actually, on my calendar in Outlook and on myspace I had “Shirley in Welly”, so I went on down to Vivo. It was very warm and pretty inside, and they poured me a glass of Pegasus Bay Cab Merlot into a veritable bucket of a vessel. Then the bottle was finished, and I said I would buy another one, having looked at the menu for wines by the glass online, which seemed quite reasonably priced, and then I read the wine list for bottles, and it took an awfully long time to find anything for under $70. It made me laugh that they were playing the Wu Tang Clan when there were $600 bottles on the menu – and it wasn’t Cristal either. Shirley’s identical twin’s partner was celebrating his 36th birthday, and there were lots of people in suits there, so I felt a little out of place. Ordering what I suppose would be the equivilent of Bernadino – the $36 Pemberton Flybrook Shiraz would have made me feel stink except that I wasn’t getting paid until the next day, and honestly, $51 for the Pegasus? Insane. But after a couple of glasses, I hit the chatty stage, and tried to restrain myself from talking too much bullshit to people. Eventually Shirley said that we were allowed to bail, and so we went to Harem for mountains of meat and cheaper wine, and talked and talked and talked. I’d sent Shirley a copy of 101 Stories and she wanted to talk to me about that, and at one stage she was like “It’s not all Thomass is it?” and I laughed so hard I nearly fell off my chair. No, it’s really really not. And then I told her stories about how people from it who were long gone have shown up again, and that’s weird and confusing. And we also talked about rejections and pashes and work and home and friends and everything and everything. She said that I was a great pash. Haha. After Harem I took her to Good Luck, where apparently Denzel Washington and Peter Jackson were enjoying a $500 bottle of wine, but we didn’t see them. We enjoyed $7 caipas though, before she insisted on calling it a night.


    Last night, I went to The Great Blend with Lisa, which meant that after we watched Star Lords I could say to her “well sure he can cut up movies, but what’s he like with MS Paint?” and I laughed. As I said on the Wellingtonista list, a lot of the presentation seemed to boil down to “so apparently there’s this thing called the Internet, and oh my stars, the kids are using it”. That’s me being snide, but you must remember that I got into the whole online journal thing from reading Tori Amos fan sites and their related journals, so the idea of healthy/unhealthy online communities etc is not really any kind of new thing – I am after all like totally tangata whenua. Plus as I’ve already snickered about on the Wellingtonista mailing list, dannah was talking about the importance of the ‘Top 8’ for the kids, and in between whispering in Lisa’s ear that I’d cut her if she ever took me off her top 8, I was like ‘but you can have a top 24 now….”. And I shook my head a little about the lack of capital letters in dannah’s slides, but that is actually my job (please note that my job does not include checking spelling ever. Honest.), so I can’t help the analness. I was playing a drinking game with myself, taking a large gulp any time anyone said the ‘B’ word, but it was like how people can turn my Creedstance into aerobics, the frequency of it. And beer made me need to pee. I was disappointed that there was no vodka on offer, despite mention of 42 Below sponsorship, because the large amount of beer that I had made me need to pee an awful lot.

    But enough with the criticisms. Dannah was an articulate and interesting speaker, and I was also impressed by Sam Morgan. And I learnt that rural America has a crystal meth problem, how totally Carterton of them! It was nice to see many of the Wellingtonistas out and about, and to try out our secret handshake, and a drunken Martha is always a good time, even if I did catch myself referring to her as Wanda. How embarrassment. And the Boatshed was gorgeous. Lisa told me that I was being that girl when Bunnies on Ponies were playing, as I was a bit loud by that stage given how few people were left. And I was a badass and whispered my way through a lot of the presentation. Honestly, you can’t take me anywhere. I was going to introduce myself to Russell, but then the band were playing, and while I will talk through dreadful movies about sinking boats, I don’t talk during bands because that’s what people who have a special circle of hell reserved for them do.


    I sent out this email to some people today and also to the Country Club members on myspace (ha ha, myspace):

    Ahoy me hearrrrrrrrties!
    Set your ship’s course to sail to Hataitai next Saturday July 8 for the very special Caribbean at the Country Club: The Pirates Edition.

    Drinking of RUM and GROG will begin at 2pm, with the pirate fleeting taking off at 3pm to search for booty at the mythical Pirate’s Cove Mini Golf. After that, there’ll be more bucaneering hijinks, booty and drinking back in Hataitai. (While the sun always shines on pirates, if a hurrrricane stirrs up, the wet weather plan is to go see Pirates of the Caribbean 2. While dressed up. And drunk. Naturally.)

    To make sure that everyone can be accounted for and gets a seat in the long boats, please RSVP by Wednesday. Also if you’re for some unknown reason planning on drivin’ instead’o drinkin, and you could ferry people about too, let me know cos that would be arrrrrrrrrrrrrrsome.

    Prizes will be awarded for the best pirate costume, and as this is a Country Club event, you’ll need to learn a fact about either pirates or the Caribbean to share with the group. And bring GROG. If you don’t like rum, might I suggest pirate beer?

    There’s no excuse for missing this great piratical rumbustification, unless you’re a layabout landlubber who should be made to walk the plank.

    You’re invited.

    Oh, and just another whinge before I sign off: we went to One Red Dog for lunch today for a goodbye thingie for the last remaining person under 30 who isn’t me, and holy fucking shit that place is shit. Terrible service, drafty interior and incredibly mediocre food. $24 for some pasta and a glass of wine? Bullllllllshit.

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