Good Housekeeping

You could be forgiven if you think that all I ever do is eat, drink and post old things I wrote for Pulp. I do actually do other things though, really. I update my Xmas Wishlist, for starters. I’m not just all about the receiving though – hopefully five people around the country have already found packages in their letterboxes to say thank you for being the first five people to get themselves hubris-logins and give me their postal addresses.

Aside from that, well, I don’t really do much. I’ve been ridiculously teary lately, crying at coverage of the Unknown Warrior parade, crying at It’s a Wonderful Life, crying at Lost in Translation, crying at Gilmore Girls, even crying during five minutes viewing of ‘Extreme House Makeover’. Last night I blubbed cos I got mad at Sebastian and threw him out of the house cos he kept biting my toes and attacking me while I was trying to cook cow au vin (that sounds classier than ‘beef stew’ right?). I am Teh Blubberpuss right now. It’s fucking annoying cos I can’t sleep either. I’m totally due for a bleed and it’s just not arriving and I need it to give my fucking hormones a break. Bleh.

Hey, you all like dressing up in costumes that start with the letter ‘P’ and dancing to cheesy music, right? Well come to my building’s Xmas party with me on Saturday. It’ll be fun, I semi-promise! I have no one to go with, but I gots to go or the girl who makes my coffee everyday who is organising it will kick my ass. I figure we’ll come ot my office and have some drinks and get changed here and then head along and laugh ourselves silly. You know this sounds like a bit of you. Do it. Do it. Thanks.

Did I tell you about the quiz night I went to with my dad last week? I’m sure I didn’t. Oh how his workmate disliked me! It was terribly amusing. They asked us which country had the lowest smoking rates but the highest suicide rates and I declared immediately that it was Finland, but Daddy’s workmate was sure it was Sweden. I’d read articles about both countries recently and knew he was wrong, and in an attempt to further back up my point I said “dude,” (yes, I probably actually said ‘Dude’) “my ex went to record his depressing album there cos it’s so depressing”. Of course, said “ex” isn’t actually an ex as such, rather just someone that I slept with a couple of times whom I very much wish I could have got to know better but with the very small amount I know about him fancy him enough to wish that maybe he was my ex if you know what I mean, but I figured it was much quicker to just say ‘ex’. However, Mr. Grumpypants wasn’t having a bar of it, so I decided to let him have his answer as Sweden so I could just be smug when I was proved right and he wasn’t. I went on to further play up being the rebellious young person whilst sinking two jugs of beer to everyone else’s one single drink and so forth – if we’d won and been asked to select a charity to give some of the prize money to, I would have pushed for the pro Civil Unions group. My father was very amused, as was his female collegue, but the elder gentleman just looked put out. I don’t think I’ll be going again, cos their quiz is real hard.

In other news, I’m all confuzzled about when I’m going to Auckland now because I was supposed to go up from the 1st-4th of December and then again on the 16th for the Pulp Magazine Xmas party, but I just received word that the single hottest person on the face of the planet who is also a good friend of mine who I haven’t seen in a long time will be in Auck in the period in the middle, so I’m all errrg. I will still need (and WANT, may I stress) to be in Hamilton on the 4th of December, so I don’t know if maybe I should drive up to Hammy on the 3rd and then stay that week in Auck, but I think Anji was thinking of asking Mummy&Daddy if she could borrow the car for a couple of days then, so hmmmm. Plus there’s the whole matter of leaving my son behind, even though K&J did say that they could look after him, no worries. Perhaps I should stick to my original plan, but fly up on the 13th and stay til the 17th as well? I mean, I have plenty of leave. But that doesn’t give me a very large O window. Oh I am confused.

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